E E G

E E G

means "leave me alone!"

today for no reason that feels important enough to me, i held my son's hand as he was strapped to an E E G machine.

a child who abhors the light touch of tickle, was asked to quietly lay down as a technician marked circles with a red marker all over his head while measuring the distance between marks.

she then lightly put glue on those red spots.

and then attached what she called a mini camera to those glue spots.

and then wrapped his head with gauze to hold in all in place.

and then remembered to attach two more of those electodes to his chest.

then proceeded to put a light over his eyes that flashed furiously.

and then asked him to be quiet now and go to sleep.

as i lay down on the hospital bed next to him, he asked,

"why am I hooked up to cameras?"
"WHY can't I talk ?"
"why did they put cameras near my nipples"

and i couldn't answer him because the nurse told me to ignore him. i squeezed his hand three times; our secret message; I LOVE YOU.

at which point he sat up and yelled,
"ok, this is a little too freaky"
"NO ONE CAN SLEEP IN A STRANGE BED WITH WIRES ON THEIR HEADS"
"Ok mom, I'm done, we can go home now."

"I'm SERIOUS"

"H E L L O is anyone out there? This is too weird for me!"

at which point i sighed, the nurse walked in and asked him to drink the anesthesialike stuff.

which he informed me smelled like ROBITUSSIN.

which he refuses to allow in the house.

which then I had to leave and get DAD.

which caused everyone to hold him down to give him the stuff.

and as he was falling asleep, not allowed to talk, pointed with his finger to the air and spelled,

M O M.

his secret message that he just invented for dad to go and get me.

which dad was not allowed to do because the nurse said so.

but when he fell asleep, mom went in.

and they recorded his brainwaves.

even though he has never had a seizure.

that i know of.

and they gave him a cute bear.

and now we are on our way to celebrate his good job with chinese food.

the medical community needs to leave him A L O N E.

he knows more than them.

Wires on heads don't make a good time to nap.