A 40year old female living in New England..... rambling about parenting 4 kids,homeschooling, autism, spiritual abuse, relatives, politics and any other thought that passes through this old brain.
I mostly ramble on "in the garden"
that is our question. do we build Hannah's Haven or not?
I believed with all my heart that I heard from God. I believed that He would take the very sword used against me and use it against my enemies. I believed that He would take all the suffering and broken-ness from my childhood and use them as strengths.
I believed that I was called to create Hannah's Haven.
Hannah's Haven was a dream of mine to take in special needs foster kids and give them a "forever family".
We bought a fixer upper of a home because it had 3 acres of land that was surrounded by forest and 6 bedrooms.
We bought it because we BELIEVED God himself called us to do so.
We bought it 7 years ago.................
We planned to plant organic gardens, raise small animals and lovingly embrace our arms around hurting children.
Hannah's Haven is a story of ours that is still unfolding. I want to share it with you all and welcome your opinions.
Did I hear from God? Did the prophets that prophesied over me tell the truth? Am I simply being attacked because the enemy knows my calling and wants to snuff it out? Am I simply not patient enough? Am I simply CRAZY?
Here is the list of what happened since we bought this home, each has it's own story which I will continue to share:
1)Our son Caleb's head stopped growing. He was about 1 years old. We entered a world of MRIs, Catscans, genetic testing and a place of absolute fear for his life and future.
2)My husband developed an infection in his leg that placed him in a hospital. It wouldn't respond to ANY treatment for over a month. They were watching the infection climb his thigh, worried that if it got into an organ; it would be fatal.
3)We experienced a horrific miscarriage.
4)The local power company decided that our land was their land- and without imminent domain began a plan to build on it.
5)We hired our pastor who was a cabinet maker by trade to redo our kitchen. Apparently that meant he could read from a "home depot how to" book...took our money, left the job unfinished and relocated to California because God told him to.
6)We hired a christian electrician who did what he was paid to; kinda.
7)A very close friend's betrayal nearly destroyed our family.
8)An attempt to leave our church of 9 years caused us to enter a cyclone of spiritual abuse that has left us wounded. Do you know the commercial, "I have fallen and can't get up" ?
9)Every time we dug an area of our land to plant organically, we dug out trash!
10)Every time we repair one room, it starts a domino effect of another room falling apart.
So now I bravely introduce to the world, my family and friends the innermost feelings of our struggles with Hannah's Haven....
hoping that in my monologues I find the strength to stand up and fight for my dream or the wisdom to walk away knowing that I did the best that I could and it's time to find a new dream!