a request I sent out to the homeschoolers CHAT, just now

Why is it that when mom goes to work.....
and 5 year old girls play quietly....
dad's think all is well?

OK that rant is for another day.

HELP HELP HELP HELP

my daughter gave herself a makeover when no one was looking
yesterday...

her bangs were getting long apparently.. .

and now they are butchered...
and so is the rest of her head.

O M G

we usually go to cost cutters in (city near home)...but I think this calls
for desparate measure...

ANYONE KNOW OF A GREAT let me say that again GREAT hairdresser that
can make my daughter beautiful again inspite of hair of various
lengths...and in the presence of a hyperventilating mother??????

(City near home) area. that can see us N O W ?

trying to make this a fun moment...but not getting there...might
just get myself divorced instead....

O M G

so she is independent and wants to be a beautician, RIGHT????

O M G

I think I am going to take her to get her nails painted today...and
try to make this some sort of a positive thing...

OMG

anyone want a husband???? HE IS FREE FREE FREE...in fact, I'll send
him with food, money, clothes and soap....

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH

jane

Obama holds a press conference?

Were you all a little surprised?

I certainly was. I don't recall a president elect holding a press conference to address the state of the economy or well the state of anything

so his actions, leave me thinking.

What is his motive?

is he trying to show that he is a strong leader?

did he get a briefing from the white house that was worse than he expected?

is he taking power over the leadership, now, during a lame duck session?

is he trying to assure the consumer confidence so that things don't get worse going into christmas?

WHAT THEN?

Can I tell you a secret?

I fell in love with him. I loved his open candor, his smiles, his strength, his speech....his jokes. I wanted to run and buy him a hypoallergenic dog! I laughed when he called himself a mutt. I smiled when he spoke to the newsreporter with a hurt arm.

First time in a long time that this woman actually stayed paying attention to a briefing of any kind from the white house...I think September 11, a few years back was the last time.

Scares the shit out of me. Frankly, when someone is that engaging socially, I worry about them being sociopaths.

seriously.

maybe I work with too many of them?

Nah, I have followed too many engaging speakers to church. I have surrendered my money, my time, my values, my adoration....

to be spiritually raped.

kicked in my blood.

I have donated money for a needy family in my church and found out later it was for their salt filtered inground pool "PRAISE GOD"....when I needed beds for my littlest children but the pastor said he prayed, and a family was in "need" so I thought they needed more than me.

I have cooked, cleaned, prayed with, cryed with, babysat for free for, created ministries.....

and left to cry alone when I lost two babies while in my womb.

and left to worry alone when my teenager needed surgery.

and left lonely, when the mother's group that I formed, started meeting without me because I was crying too much about a very recent miscarriage.

So, I'll stay glued to this mesmerizing pastor- um I mean president elect.

But I'll watch from afar; and wait....and keep my money in my wallet; my hope in check; and my adoration hidden.

Spiritual abuse has far reaching tentacles....

To thy ownself be true.....

This morning as I was readying THE CHEEK OF GOD (tysdaddy),
I felt a sense of jealousy.

You see, he is able to write without regard to his readers.

WOW. What freedom.

That is what I am striving for......

When I first began blogging, I was recovering from being a born again christian in a fundamental christian cult. It was hard for me to find my own thoughts after those years of being locked up in black and white thinking.

I was affected by comments, most were positive, but some were not. When I couldn't handle exposing myself to shame and condemnation; I stopped blogging.

Then I came across THE BROWNSTONE BIRDER while looking up bird names for my daughter..

and I wanted to write again.

I have unsuccessfully tried to compartmentalize my writings...spiritual abuse in one area; my family stuff in another.

It seems to me that I bore those who write diligently about spiritual abuse/ religion with ramblings about day to day parenting...

or I offend the families that I found with my liberal...straddling the fence...kind of thinking.

I worry about offending; being offended or worse- no comments at all.

Today I strive for the ability to write freely, and without apology.

I am what I am.

I LOVE diversity.
I Love reading blogs that support Obama and McCain...
I Love reading about spiritual journies of many people...
I love hearing your thoughts; for and against and even your prayers...

I believe that in accepting differences; I am increased.

I hope that in sharing my stories; I am teaching others.

My favorite love of all is discovering the families here in blogsphere...
the families of all shapes, sizes and color...

and sharing in their journey of life.

So welcome to my blog corner...stay awhile...read, discover, disagree or cheer me on...

every once in a while let me know you stopped by..

a blossom of.....hope?

ok you all know that I didn't vote and yet I can't not be touched by,

the tears on the faces of Americans,
the woman who fell to her knees in astonishment,
the roar of the noise as they partied outside the whitehouse,
the cheers from across the globe,
the poetry of still rising,

the belief that perhaps our voice might really count is lurking,
that perhaps there isn't a conspiracy to make us working slaves,

like a scared abused puppy peeking from beneath the couch to see if my new owners really do care enough to feed me and love me;

I rise slowly to good thoughts on being American,
to hope that homes won't be lost,
freedoms stolen,
earnings robbed.

Wow. I did absolutely nothing and yet it feels good today to be an American.

Were we really the first country within the slave trade to elect a black man?

Good for us.

We as a nation are maturing and growing up.

Our spirit is evolving.

Who knows, maybe we can have world peace, save the world from hunger and pollution...and leave a future for our children.

Maybe the dream still lives on. . . .

maybe.

we'll see Obama....January thaw comes quicker than you think.

PET RABBITS SPOTTED IN NEIGHBORS YARD!

we tried like heck to catch you.....

last night must have been scary sleeping in the wild....ok, not so wild we have spotted you under the neighbor's boat.

we have good food over here.....and well, we miss you....

we'll fix the hole in the cage.....oh maybe I shouldn't tell you that part.

FALLY and PETER RABBIT.....PLEASE PLEASE COME HOME.

TRICK OR TREAT

Robin fell asleep with chocolate in his hands....

and when we tried to take them; he grabbed tightly but stayed asleep.

Bell was dancing with daddy as she passed out gifts of pumpkins that she made to all those giving her candy (she's so sweet hearted...)


and BATMAN didn't appear....he was "himself" instead.


but granpa....used to being cast in THE HAUNTED GRAVEYARD at Lake Compounce to raise money for diabeties...couldn't resist putting on his dress ups....
and the cousins were there, causing a scare......



or two....



and then there was the one MACAW cousin, flapping her bright feathers everywhere....




HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

One last rant before tomorrow....

OK everyone gets that we are NOT the electoral collage, right?

You know that the popular vote has voted for one candidate but the electoral vote has been the opposite, right?

So PLEASE, tell me again, WHY ARE YOU VOTING????

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT THAT OUR VOICE BE HEARD?

If no one is listening when my voice is speaking, what does it do for me to keep on speaking?

Want to know my fears?

I fear that tomorrow the people will vote for Obama....but the electoral vote will be for McCain........and riots will errupt.

I fear that Obama might be elected....and attempts will be made on his life just like every other presidents.....but the public will be told it's because of race...and we'll have more racial problems.

I fear that people will vote for McCain for all the wrong reasons....like they think he is against abortion (when I was going to vote for him last time; he was a pro choicer)......and think they are doing the more- moral thing.

I fear that if Obama looses- people will feel that it is because America is still overall racist.

But my biggest fear?

McCain winning.....dying of a heart attack....

and that person that claims to be a voice for women with special needs children will be in charge ....

OMG HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED PARENTING A BABY WITH SPECIAL NEEDS...

talk to me baby in 7 years when your child has "BEHAVIORS"...and when you don't have income to help you....and oh don't get me started...because I LOVE MY SON but I would never never be a women with a baby saying I know what it is like because when my son was a baby; I held him and loved on him like my other babies....special need problems don't start looking stressful that early........

ok, off my rant.

those are my fears but I respect everyone's right to have an opinion...

too bad we really don't have a voice that counts.